My lack of inspiration is getting more and more annoying. I think most of it can be blamed on my present illness. - I mean the physical not the mental illness in case you wonder.........
The interesting aspect is that when you're not really functioning as you should do, your focus changes. Suddenly PAIN stands in the centre of the universe. Which is ridicolous, because the more you focus on the pain, the more it hurts. And pain spread itself. There's a pain in my ear or is it my face or my head or maybe the neck???????
- I've also noticed that I get more grumpy over tiny little idiotic details which I normally wouldn't give a crap about. All of a sudden it gets HUGE. I don't want to be nice and friendly. I want to nag.
I sat yesterday in front of my laptop the whole day trying to choose a nice background for my myspace page. And I find myself - really weird - going through all the proposals for creating emo pages. I mean - just how sorry do I feel for myself?!? I - the 45 year old who exprienced Sex Pistols before you could crawl! I was emo 30! years ago!
When realizing that, I told myself to stop being so pathetic and jumped at Betty Boop instead. Later switching over to the white roses for my funeral when PAIN again decided to take over.
I'm only telling you this in case you wonder why I insist on changing my background on regular basis.