Today is Lucia Day. It's a very old Swedish tradition, which I find beautiful, but never celebrate. Because I'm not Swedish. I prefer to keep my Danish traditions as much as I can.

Yesterday I wrote about my experiences with other peoples unconscious perception of age.

I received a respons which I am sharing with you here. It came from a man, who in my mind has a very healthy view of life.

"Isn't wrinkels a sign that you have turned wise and full of understanding? Or is it just an excuse for not having to use arguments when you put statements on the table? You just have to say that your long experience tells you that the case is such and such and all fall down in awe of your wisdom :-). As said before; age is a question of perception in oneself ... and others. Unfortunately people tend to put other people in a figuratively box based on their age. When people reach a certain age they are seen as mumbling drooling fools no better than small children. Please keep me (and yourself) out of that box:-)."

It's interesting that age is so important to us. It's really just a fictive number that someone invented just to keep us busy feeling sorry for ourselves. It doesn't say anything about us or our values.

I see myself as wise and understanding. The older I get the more laissez faire I also get. But that's being interpreted as a negative thing, which I don't think it is. My carrier is behind me. Ambitions is tuned down. That gives me an opportunity to explore life in a much different way than 10 years ago.

In the past I wouldn't have shown what's inside of me in public (I mean in a blog), but today it's not so complicated. I am who I am, I can't change that, and I won't. Being myself is one of the real privileges that comes with age. Another positive thing about getting older is, that I can joke about myself in a much more ironic way than before. I know my strong sides and my weak sides inside and out. But I no longer need to excuse myself. It's okay to be weird now-:)).

"I am not young enough to know everything"
James M Barrie, Novelist


There - right in the middle of her forehead!

Have you thought about how many people that gets anxiety attacks when they see wrinkles - even when the wrinkles is placed in the forehead of another human being?
I've had wrinkles in my forehead ever since I was 18. So-called intellect wrinkles. - Occasionally it irritates me, and I think of laser and botex, but most of the time I'm quite proud of them. They are a part of my personality.

Wrinkels associates with age. And you get that discrete question: "When do you retire?" - NEVER! I plan to work till I drop down dead. What else can I spend time on? - Can't sit 20 hours a day at the internet. I'll turn blind. Experimenting in the kitchen so Mr Asta can run back and forth between home and the hospitals poison center? - His life insurance isn't lucrative enough. And besides, getting away with murder will only leave me all by myself with the bleeping domestic work that I hate!

"Many are never quite the same age as oneself"
Tove Ditlevsen, Author



Imagine if I was famous. I would be invited to events everywhere. And huge numbers of photographers would line up and expose me to the world. And I would be interviewed. About me, for example. And it would be published. Everybody would read my blog. And everybody would all of a sudden have a desperat need to become my friends. I could be a complete jerk. I might not be able to get the spelling right. Doesn't matter. As long as I'm famous. And no matter what comes out of my mouth - they will swallow it and praise me!

This is how it could be:

C.Leb Q: Asta, What inspires you to write?
Me A: Have you ever read my blog?

C.Leb Q: You get a lot of comments on your blog. Do you ever comment back?
Me A: Have you ever read my blog?

C.Leb Q: You write a lot about yourself. Why?
Me A: Because I can

C.Leb Q: From time to time people critizises you for your writing. Have do you handle the critics?
Me A: Have you ever read my blog?

C.Leb Q: For many years singing and playing guitar was a part of your life. Why did you quit?
Me A: Are you absolutely sure you read my blog?

C.Leb Q:You once wrote a very funny speech about God. When can we see the speech again?
Me A: Do you mean as a kind of Best of? - Replays I leave to others

C.Leb Q: You have a huge fascination for shoes. Why?
Me A: Did you ever read my blog?

C.Leb Q: Karaoke is very popular. Many people has sworn an oath to karaoke. Soon anyone has a karaoke facilities. Anyone become the stars of an evening, right? How do you feel about karaoke? Are you planning to upload a karaoke song on your blog? Perhaps make a video recording?
Me A: What was your question?

C.Leb Q: Finally, Asta, which of the following do you prefer

Beer or Wine?

Cheese or ice cream?

Dog or Cat?
Next question please

TV or radio?

Car or boat?

Mallorca or Bahamas?

Gold or silver?

Long or mini?

Sneakers or ballerina shoes?
High heals

Celine or Madonna?
Tony Kakko

C.Leb: Thank you for your time





Sitting at the night train on my way home from Gothenburg. It's 7.46 pm. I'll be home at 7 am tomorrow morning.

It's been a real giving trip. Tough programme - left home 8 am yesterday morning and gave lectures most of today. However I received a very positive response from the audience which makes the whole trip worth the effort.

Had a very nice evening together with Miss Fan (we shared a room at the hotel). Went shopping yesterday evening, and I managed to find the only shop where she could buy one very specific Christmas gift for a friend. Proved my absolute superb talents as pathfinder in Gothenburg and again this morning to the airport, so she let me run the show on my own today. Just introduced herself as my private chauffeur.

So proud of myself. And happy. It's not often I hear that I am good good at what I do.

Another good thing about Miss Fan is, that she when we checked into Hotel Scandic Europe yesterday, managed to check us in as VIP guests, so our breakfast this morning was served in the special VIP lounge at 6th floor. There are people and People! tsk tsk

Oh, yes, and accidently I happened to stumble over a pair of super hot shoes (see picture). They were just shouting YOUR FEET NEED US!


Age parties

I wonder quite a lot about Christmas and why and what. It's like my thoughts about my birthday. I never celebrate it, because I think it's rubbish. I feel the reactions from others whenever I say that I have no intentions to celebrate my 50-year anniversiry. Everybody thinks I'm insane. But why is that? Can't I just throw a party some other time and say I'm having a party because I'm happy?

- Why do YOU celebrate YOUR birthday? - For the gifts, or because you feel you are important and think that everybody else feels the same?

If I only feel important 1 day a year, what is there to believe in? - That's 364 days a year being un-important. That's ultimatelly sad.

Another thing is that I don't think it's so damn nice to add another year to my age, when the number of years never match my actual age - the age I am inside my head. - Next time it'll be 46. But it isn't consistent with how I am. - A 46 year old woman is to run around and bake and cook and go to tea parties with her friends (according to conventions!). But I don't do any of this. And besides, I don't have any friends. - I don't dress as a 46 year old either. I don't speak as a 46 year old. I don't listen to 46 year old music. I experience myself as young, but I'm being treated like a middelaged bag. It's ultimate depression. That doesn't work for me. So why constantly remind myself?

Does the Church have a role?

I am a protestant. As a result of that, I only go to church for christienings, weddings and funerals. I believe - not in God - but in life. However I like the church as a place for thought and reflection. I enjoy the music because sound is powerful in the church room.

Protestants do not believe in the concept of indulgence. One can never buy forgiveness. Martin Luther broke with the Catholic Church first and foremost because he despised the trade with indulgence performed by the Catholic Church. Purgatory does not exist within Christianity. It is something evil priests have invented to scare people. In order to get control over people.

Nor do I believe in hell as a place I can escape as long as I live by the rules of the Bible and pay my tenth. I become incensed at my local church which is for Methodists more than for Protestants. There collection is presented in public, giving the entire congregation the possibility to see whether I have money or not. If I have no money, I can use my credit card. They take Visa. It's disgusting! I won't have anything to do with it. Money has nothing to do with Christianity and Jesus bids.
There was an error in this gadget